Hi, this is Charlie Munger. You may have heard of me. I’m Vice Chairman of the Board of Berkshire Hathaway Inc. (BRK) and Warren Buffett’s best buddy.
I don’t know Wendy and she doesn’t know me. Nevertheless, I’ve agreed to fill in today as Guest Blogger here at Proxyland while she does some important things like buying another pair of shoes she doesn’t need and then going to the bookstore, reading the first paragraph of The Brothers Karamazov and deciding once again not to buy it, though she’s absolutely going to read it some day.
Forget that crap you always hear about bloggers being so outspoken, saying whatever is on their minds, speaking truth to power, etc. Frankly, I think Wendy is nothing but a big chicken and way too nice to everyone. Really. I, on the other hand, am no chicken and don't have to be nice, maybe because I’m 83 years old and worth something like 1.7 billion dollars.
So for my guest post today, I’m going to repeat some mean things I said in an interview in the Los Angeles Times recently. Here goes:
Wanna know what I think about compensation consultants?
"I have always said that prostitution would be a step up for these people."
Do I think that if directors get paid more they’ll do a better job?
"Putting more duties on the directors and giving them more money is like trying to extinguish a fire by putting gasoline on it. If I were running the world, I would not allow directors to be paid at all."
Hmm...so what’s my solution to excessive executive pay?
"I don't know. Just because something is a serious problem doesn't mean that you can fix it."
What do I think of CEOs?
"I would like to see CEOs act as exemplars. I would like them to realize that they are setting an example when they are setting their own pay. But CEOs are very pompous and they assume they are right about everything. Saying that to them would be a total waste of breath. "
So what’s next?
"The next level of reform will be much harder. In my opinion, not enough executives have gone to jail."
See, that’s how it’s done, Wendy. You wimp.
Well, I guess she’ll be back soon. I hope she’ll be a good sport about me writing this stuff on her blog. Maybe she’ll let me do it again sometime; I think the two of us could make a good team, kind of like Conan O’Brien and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Except when Triumph makes an especially offensive joke, he says "I keeed, I keeed" in that Transylvanian-sounding accent (he says it’s a "dog accent," but I don’t believe him).
Anyway, whatever. The point is this: I, Charlie Munger, am not kidding.
Till next time,
Charlie
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